overwhelmed, and overcome

My first thought when I cut off the tip of my middle finger on my left hand was, "Wow. How will I play guitar now?" I love to lead worship, and I had no idea if I had just lost that ability, at least the guitar-playing part of it. I started trying to play a few days after the accident. Left-handed guitar playing made me feel like a 6 year old trying to learn all over, so I started to experiment with which chords I could play without my middle finger. A few weeks ago I stepped back into the role with our middle school students a couple of weeks ago, but the big test was a packed-out Sunday morning.

I didn't expect to come unglued. I was nervous at the start of worship, and I think it’s mostly due to the fact that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to lead worship again. The room is always warm, and we get sweaty leading worship (nice, I know), but my palms were outright wet. Yummy.

The morning was great, and I was a wreck at the end. Totally blubbering and stuff. I had no idea that it was coming, either. I couldn’t finish the walk out song, and ended up sort of choking back tears. Lynn Nold came over and gave me a hug, and I started sobbing. I had the same kind of emotional experience my first Wed back at XStream, worshiping with the middle-schoolers. It was pretty weird as far as experiences go.

I didn’t think that I had a lot of fear about getting back, or that I spent a lot of time stressing over it. But when I finally did get back, it was overwhelming. I ended up sitting on the stage fiddling with my cables trying to gain a little composure before stepping out to talk with the people waiting to talk to me.

I am so grateful for God's healing and mercy.

Oh yeah--I found the tip of my glove and a big chunk of my fingernail in the guts of the snowblower Saturday afternoon. How cool is that?