a day of prayer

Our staff was out of the office today. We try to do an of-site staff retreat a couple of times each year. Instead of us all going away together this time, we were given a day away to spend in prayer--sort of a personal retreat.

I spent the morning at home reading and praying. This afternoon I took a long walk in the rain, hiking to the top of the mountain behind our offices. I got to spend an afternoon outdoors, thinking, hiking, exploring, and praying.

I prayed about a lot of issues today. All kinds of things related to Calvary, the city-church, students and families, our staff needs...and a gnawing holy discontent.

I am nearing 40 years on this planet. As I look back at my life, I wonder what I have accomplished. I mean, I've done lots of things. I have acquired a fair amount of skills along the way. I can list all the things that I do, all the roles that I play. Some have huge implications; others are things I do to pass time.

I want to live a life that matters, to make a difference. I don't care about fame. I don't care about being known or recognized. I am looking for that elusive sweet spot, that place where I know that my life counts.

I always challenge students to find the life that God had in mind when he created them. The Apostle Paul wrote

I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

That's where I am. Holding on to hope that Jesus has a plan, a reason for calling me to follow him. I want to find that thing and sell out to it--nothing held back.

Any ideas?