A Friday Finger Update

Well, things are coming along nicely today. I changed the dressing, finding that the gauze was pretty encrusted at the corner where the wound was still a little wet yesterday. But it came off pretty cleanly, and I sit here typing this with the finger unwrapped, letting it get a little air.

I've been bending it a little today. You can see that in the last photo. It is really tight, but I guess that's to be expected.

I am encouraged, and I realize that the road to recovery is going to be longer than I want it to be. I will be patient, and press myself to get back to some semblance of normal activity. I hit a few groundballs with one hand yesterday, just to see if I could! It might just be possible.

Guitar, kayaking, rock climbing...those fun things will have to wait. But I am sure that they'll come in time.

A Couple of Nuggets from God

I have been using Pray As You Go for a while now as part of my daily time with the Lord. As I work through this finger injury, I've been amazed to see points of intersection with PAYG. I know that God sees all things, and that he speaks through his word, but it's been fun to see what the Lord is going to say each new day. I find myself excited to come to God's Word.

I've been asking myself this question each day:

What kind of man do I want to be today?

PAYG included this quote from an unnamed medieval mystic:

Not what you are, nor what you have been, but what you want to be is what God sees with merciful eyes.

I believe the accurate quote and more info are here, but the thought is the same.

They didn't reference it, but I believe that's what is at the heart of Psalm 37:4, where the psalmists writes:

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

O God, let me be the man I want to be. Strengthen me, help me, fill me with your Spirit...

The Stitches Stay In

Well, the dr visit came and went, pretty uneventfully. The cut hadn’t healed to the point where the doc wanted to take the stitches out today. It’s still a little wetter than the doc wants it, at least on the side toward my index finger. I did get to soak the finger in peroxide and saline, which was okay. It’s a little cleaner. So we’ll spend another week with the stitches in, doing saline wraps that should aid the drying process. If all goes as planned we’ll take the stitches out next Thursday. In the meantime I get to try bending the knuckle a little each day. It’s pretty sore and doesn’t want to flex much, which is normal.

The nurse laughed when I called the pain jangly. She pressed on it, and it hurt a little to try to rub the dried blood off, but I guess that’s to be expected.

No pictures for today. I think I'll hold off until there's a change.

Thanks for praying...

Wednesday's finger report

Well, another day is done. I slept in, spent the day getting ready to teach tonight, and made it through OK. I took the pain meds today, and I was glad to have them.

Pics are here. But I'm guessing that they're all starting to look the same.

Tomorrow is a big day--I go to see the orthopedic surgeon who did my surgery. I believe that the stitches will come out, and I'm guessing that will be painful. I bumped the finger tonight shutting the truck door, and I thought that I was going to jump through the roof! Maybe the doc will do another nerve block to get the stitches out.

I missed our first baseball game today. We got rained out yesterday, and they rescheduled it for today. I listened to the varsity game on the radio. They were trailing in the 6th inning, but I don't know how it ended. I'm not sure I'll be up for practice tomorrow.

gearing up for XStream

It's been a pretty good day. I'm feeling up for teaching tonight. Our middle school ministry--XStream--meets Wednesday nights. I'm going to lead a discussion on the first half of the Great Commandment.

It's found in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. Interestingly, Jesus speaks the words in answer to a question in Matthew and Mark, while a teacher of the law answers a question from Jesus with those words in Luke's account. I'm guessing that Jesus taught this principle pretty often.

It's one of the questions that I pose to my own kids regularly: What are the 2 most important things in life:
1. Love God with everything I have--heart, soul, mind, strength.
2. Love people like I love myself.

I'm praying that our middle school students can figure out what this means, and how to order their lives around this most important truth. I'm still trying to process what this looks like in my own life. Should be fun!

My Birthday is almost over

I got an incredible amount of email, facebook wall posts, cards, and calls from some wonderful people over the past few days. I'm not sure if it's that they want to celebrate my birthday, or they want to drop a note to say they're praying for my recovery, or both. But it's been fun.

I share a birthday with lots of people:
my 6th grade girlfriend
Jamie Waldron--an incredible young lady who is rock-solid living the LIFE
Ben Jameson and Jamey Ball--2 guys in my 11th grade small group--what a coincidence!
Nancy Engler--an elderly lady who recently moved...she loved me!

Lots of history happened on March 27. Important things happened, notable people were born and passed away. You can check it out here.

I have been blessed, and I am grateful for the life that God has given me. I don't know that I'll make any list on Wikipedia, but I sure pray that my life will leave a mark for God and good on this world.

Finger Update-not quite as ready as I thought...

Whew, what a day! Birthday bashing, finger stuff lingering, baseball (rained out)…I tried to get back into the swing of things today, but it was too much.

We had Kim's sister Erin and her husband Joe stay over last night, and it was a late night. I rolled out of the bed at 6:39 to go to breakfast with the 11^th grade guys, home to shower, off to staff meeting—crashed about 10 am and had to head for home.

I got a little rest, then went off to baseball. But I’ve felt like junk most of the day. Maybe I’m not ready to be back in the saddle just yet. I've been trying to take less pain meds, but I'm obviously not quite ready.

Our first baseball game got rained out, and they rescheduled for tomorrow. That's a bummer, because I don't get to go to most Wednesday games or practices. Our middle school ministry meets on Wednesdays. My assistant coach didn't know that (it's his first year with us), and he asked if I only worked one day of the week! Too funny.

Today's pictures are here. The finger looks worse today than it has in the last few days. Oh well, I see the dr Thursday to get the stitches out, and possibly start rehab.

Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow

I've been starting my prayer time each day by singing/writing the doxology. I grew up in a church that sang the doxology as the offering was collected each Sunday morning. Becky Tirabassi was in State College a few weeks ago to wrap up our Burning Heart series, and she encouraged us to use this acrostic for our prayer time:
P--Praise
A--Admit
R--Request
T--Thank

That's been pretty helpful to me. I've been writing out my prayers in my journal, which has proven to be SLOW, but GOOD. I have always wanted to be a man of prayer, knowing that I need to pray more. But I let my self get distracted, busy, and lazy, and my prayer time suffers.

Today Marko posted the verses that go along with the refrain to the doxology. Read them, and let them serve as a guide to giving thanks to God.

Awake, my soul, and with the sun
thy daily course of duty run.
Cast off dull sloth, and joyful rise
to pay thy morning sacrifice.

All praise to thee, who safe hast kept
and hast refreshed me while I slept!
Grant, Lord, when I from death shall wake,
I may of endless life partake.

All praise to thee, my God, this night
for all the blessings of the light.
Keep me, oh keep me, King of Kings,
beneath Thine own almighty wings.

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him, all creatures here below.
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

More verses to the hymn can be found here.

Finger Report for Monday

Things went pretty well today. I decided that I’d try to make it through the day without pain meds, which turned out to be doable, for the most part. I changed the bandage with a little help from my brave-hearted wife, got myself cleaned up, and went to baseball practice for the first time in a week. Kim’s parents arrived at 2 this afternoon, and her dad volunteered to drive me over to practice. I didn’t know how much of a role I was going to be able to play in practice. I was waiting for a call from the nurse to see if she thought I could even try it. Her call came while the team was stretching, and I had to convince her that I wouldn’t throw, catch, or hit, but I got permission! She even said that as long as I’m not impaired by the meds, I can drive. So that was good news.

Practice went well, but it’s tough to be unable to do the things I want/need to do. We have a game tomorrow, so it’s a good thing I got to see the guys work out today. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

I took a vicodin tonight after the birthday supper. I turn 39 tomorrow. My mom and dad called to check in tonight, which was fun. 3:24 am delivery of a 7 pound 8 ounce, 21 inch long baby boy. I'll bet my mom was thankful for pain meds...

Kim’s sister Erin and her hubby (Joe) showed up around 7, and the finger was feeling pretty rough. I’m hoping to return to the office and more normal schedule tomorrow.

Joe and I always have good conversations about the church, the faith, and what it means to be a follower of Jesus. It's good to have folks to challenge our thinking and wrestle through the stuff of life with. We came to the conclusion that it's great to talk about loving God and loving people, to explore new ways of practicing the art of following Jesus, but it's even better to actually do the stuff we're talking about. God is teaching me some good things, helping me grow...

I’m going to keep posting pictures, for those who want to see what’s going on. Click here. The fingertip is continuing to improve a little each day, I think. It’s pretty dry now, and the changing of the dressing is getting easier.

Thanks for praying! I’ll let you know how tomorrow feels.

lots of down time, but I'm not down

One of the upsides of this whole accident is that I can't do much. I can't drive. Therefore, I can't go to baseball practice (I coach the JV team at State High), can't go to the office. I can't go out to run, can't go rock climbing or paddling with buddies, can't play guitar.

OK, so that doesn't sound very positive.

One good thing is that I have had SO MUCH time for reading the Bible, praying, and reading some books that I've been meaning to get to.

This week I read Chris Folmsbee's A New Kind of Youth Ministry, Mike King's Presence-Centered Youth Ministry, Lewis and Wilkins The Church of Irresistible Influence, and started Alan Hirsch's The Forgotten Ways.

I've met Folmsbee and King at YS's National Youth Worker Conventions, and I dropped them a couple of emails. I am so encouraged by what I read. We are seeing a shift in the philosophy of ministering to students that should move us closer to a Biblicall expression of ministry to the whole person, away from a "Hey come to youth group, and bring your friends to the cool outreach thing" and to a renewed focus on spiritual formation.

I don't want to throw away the efforts and the lessons we've learned from the past 20 years of ministry with students. We stand on the shoulders and the work of those who have gone before. But I believe that we discovering new/old ways to help this generation connect with God, the Ancient of Days.

If we are to embrace the mission of God, we must be willing to learn, to grow, to stretch, to remember that this life, this kingdom is not about us...

A Sunday Look

Each day seems to be a little better in the “Changing the Dressing” dept. Ed McCash has been over the last two days to help, which has been fun. Ed is a guitar player/worship leader at Calvary, and he’s such an encouragement to me. There wasn’t a lot of dried blood to adhere to the gauze today, so things went pretty easily.

I’d say that my spirits remain pretty good. I’ve gotten lots of cards, a teddy bear, some flowers, and some really good low carb get well gifts: almonds, low-carb homemade granola, and a HUGE STEAK! Muchos thankos to those of you who care.

I missed church today, but that’s the way things go. I’m not sure about House Party tonight. I fell pretty good for most of the day, but there’s usually a lull from 6-8, which is the time of House Party…

Levi is off to baseball tryouts, Lilly is home with swimmer’s ear infections (missing a birthday party today). You should have seen the one-handed bath/hair wash that I pulled off last night. Trying to keep her ear dry while rinsing her hair was tricky! Sadie has been at her grandparents since Friday, but should be home tomorrow.

New pics are up here. I cleaned off most of the blood, which helps Kim’s queasiness. She might even be able to change the bandage someday.

I am so blessed, without a doubt...

First Re-dress At Home

I have pictures, for those of you who are grossly curious. Melinda Ohlson and her mom came over today to change the dressing. It’s pretty ouchy to pull the gauze off the places where it sticks…

There are pictures here, but don’t feel obligated to look at them. It’s not very pretty.

Overall, my heart and spirits are good. Lots of cards and calls from supportive people let me know that folks are praying. Typing is pretty slow, but the pain meds are working!

I don't have a clue what the rehab process will be like. It hurts like crazy to pull the bandage off the points where the blood has made it stick. The nerve endings are very much alive.

The Unveiling

Just got back from the appt with the dr/nurse, the first peek at the finger since the surgery. I’m not sure what I expected, but it’s pretty ugly! The finger is swollen, a little bloody and really painful. There was a good bit of dried blood that made the bandage difficult to remove. It hurt like fire when the nurse touched the inside edge. I meant to take the camera to snap a few pics, but as usual, the Sublett Train was late leaving the station (it’s hard to get it all going in the same direction with only one hand—you try taking a one-handed shower!) and I forgot to grab the camera. I’m supposed to change the dressing every day, so maybe I’ll snap a pic for you then. But then again, some of you might not want to see it.

**pics will be posted here**

I’m moving from percocet to vicodin, and that means that I’m not allowed to drive anywhere for the next week. That’s a bummer…I’m getting a little stir crazy! I don’t know how long the recovery time will be, but I’m learning to be patient.

Overall, I’m doing pretty well though. Thanks for praying. I sure do appreciate your love.

Frodo of the Nine Fingers, or My Mis-Adventure with the Snowblower

OK, here goes...

I thought that I’d take a few minutes this morning to let you know what’s going on and thank you for your prayers. The last few days have been interesting, to be sure.

I was using the snowblower to clear the driveway Saturday afternoon. It was a beautiful, light 10” snow that fell on what was supposed to be the first scrimmage day for my baseball team. I should have been coaching third base, but I was blowing snow! The blower got clogged a couple of times, and I shut the machine off to clear the chute. Toward the end of the job, the blower ran out of gas. I filled it up and restarted the blower, but the chute was clogged again. I honestly remember making the choice to leave the blower on as I cleared the chute. I didn’t think that my hand/fingers would extend down into the part where the blades were turning.

I was wrong.

It felt like I got hit with a stick, or like I banged a cold hand against a hard object—do you know that feeling? I didn’t immediately think that I was hurt, but I noticed that the tip of my glove was missing—not a good sign. I pulled off the glove to see the damage…

-----descriptive parts to follow, sensitive people be warned!------------------------

I was missing about an inch of my left middle finger. The blade took it off from the last knuckle, leaving a little flap of skin along the ring-finger side. The wasn’t much blood, and I could see the bone.

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I shut off the snowblower, grabbed my wrist to slow whatever blood flow there was, and ran to the front door to call Kim. I believe that I shouted something like “Kim, come quick. I just cut off my finger!” Kim doesn’t have a real good track record when blood and trauma are in the mix, but she was great. She got the girls off to Amie’s, got me a towel to apply direct pressure to the wound, and grabbed a plastic bag so that I could put the fingertip into snow and take it with us. I found the fingertip in the snow inside the snowblower, and dropped it in the bag. I thought that maybe the doctor could sew it back on.

We got to the ER, and I was a sweaty mess! I had been a little sweaty from the snowblowing, but add the stress of the injury with the warmth of the ER and my warm workclothes, and I was drenched.

I’m not sure how long we waited, but eventually I go to see the doc—Brad Barter. He was great. It turns out that there was another guy in the room across the hall who cut the end of his finger off in his woodshop (seems maybe we need a ban on woodshop and snow removal—or maybe it’s just me…) doc Barter got to practice his finger surgery skills, though. He drugged me up, and told me I had about 45 minutes of surgery ahead of me. Kim didn’t want to watch the surgery anyway, and since she was in her jammmies (she was cleaning out the closets, getting stuff ready for a yard sale), she headed home for a quick shower. I took a little nap, and woke up about 30 minutes later.

--------------more bloody talk----------------------

The doc said that the tip of the finger was a goner. It seems that I chopped just enough to get to the bone, but not enough to have something to re-attach. Dr Barter did a process called ronger (sp), in which they snip the bone down, and snip out some of the flesh inside, then cut the nerves and flexor tendon back. He was able to use the flap that the snowblower left to cover the tip, making a pretty nice pad for the end of the finger. I sat up and watched the whole deal. It was pretty amazing. I couldn’t feel it at all, so it was sort of like watching surgery on someone else.

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I don’t know what the recovery process will be like. My initial thoughts—I mean immediately—were about playing guitar, rock climbing, kayaking, and baseball. The doc says that I have a lengthy process ahead of me. There’s no way to predict how fast my finger will heal, or what I’ll be able to do with the altered fingertip. He expects that it’ll hurt like fire for months, maybe up to a year, when I try to use it. But who really knows? Jesus could make that whole fingertip re-grow today! Sadie asked how long it would take to grow back…

I’ve been pretty upbeat through the whole process so far. I know that I may have to change the way that I do things from a functional standpoint. You folks have been great supporters. I have appreciated the calls and emails and prayer. It’s good to have friends like you.

I’m probably going to have to lay low for a little while. I’m not supposed to drive while I’m on percocet, even though I don’t think it does much to me other than taking the edge off the pain. We’ll have to figure things out as we go.

I had hoped to take some good pictures of the process, but Kim didn’t bring the camera.

Thanks for your love and support. Please feel free to pass this on to folks who might be praying or curious about how we’re doing. It’s been a lilt traumatic, but things are good.

I am a huge fan of Lord of the Rings, but I never thought I'd end up with nine fingers...